A woman was struggling to get the catsup out of the bottle.  During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it.  "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now.  She's hitting the bottle."

A guy lost in the desert desperately needed a drink.  As he followed the dunes, he came upon another man.. He asked the man if he had something to drink.

The man said "No, but if you like, I have a nice selection of ties.  Would you like to buy one?"

"No!" The first man replied.  "Are you crazy? I need something to drink, not a tie!"

So the man continued his slow and very thirsty trek.  Finally he came upon a cantina.

He gratefully approached the doorman at the cantina and said, "I'm so glad I made it! Can I get in and get some water?"

The doorman frowned at him.  "Not without a tie."

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